I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee...

Hello Follower(s)!

Yes yes, it has indeed been a while. I suddenly find it challenging finding Star Wars in everyday life. I think however I will be choosing Jedi (or The Force) as my religion. It makes complete sense to me.

Anyways, HAPPY STAR WARS DAY, May 4th. May the Fourth Be With You. I encourage any and all of you to watch the movies (clearly only 4-6)and remember all the good times you had when you first saw them. Good times indeed.

Lightspeed AWAY!

Guest Rant - Will Hall (from England)

Today I have a treat for the now 3 followers. Wow....only 3? well 2 since I am also a follower. Seriously guys, get spreading this thing around. I want Sheen style numbers on this thing.

Anyways, Will has graciously wrote a rant for me and I hope he will continue to do so in the future and this could bring about healthy debates. Anyways, I need to go brew up some caf. Enjoy the rant. (it's wordy so fyi)

Let me just make one thing clear, before you read this. At one point, a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, George Lucas knew what he was doing. You can not overestimate his cultural significance.

Trust me, I've tried.

But lets put Fanboyism aside for a moment. Ok, what have you noticed? Oh, yeah. The man became a fucking moron.

So, yeah, he's the god of Star Wars. I'm not arguing against that fact, nor how much weight that pulls. But even christians would admit that their god isn't perfect; I mean, he made butterflies, and they're all pretty and shit, but he also made downes syndrome and cancer. Everything's Swings and roundabouts.

I'm just saying, this is one of many points where I feel he lost the plot. To you, it might seem pedantic, even... dare I say it?
Obsessive. But to me, it matters.

There's one thing that bugged me more than anything about the new trilogy; more than the poorly deployed romantic plot lines,
more than the unsatisfying depicture of vaders downfall, more than the racial stereotype that is Jar Jar binks- MORE THAN BINKS? what is it, you ask? Is it... like, a family members death, personally organised by Lucas? Or... rape. Rape death? Lucas Rape death? Oh my god, is Lucas orchestrating rape death?

No, that's not it. I mean, he is, but that's to a completely different fanchise. Nobodies talking about you right now, Indy. (Although You can leave your hat on by Tom Jones will never sound quite the same....)

No, for some bizarre reason this bugs me more than all of that.

What is it?

It's what the fuck the jedi council is wearing, that's what.

Why you hating on the robe? you ask. It's a timeless classic, you say. It's a simple fact of the star wars universe that that's what Jedis wear, I hear. But no, no it's not.

Let's take this in proper chronological order. We have old ben, living up in the mountains, watching over Luke, just itching to get that
young boys hand around a saber, if you know what I mean. (You don't know what I mean. What you're thinking is sick, and I should report you.)

And what's that he's wearing? Why, he's sporting a rather charming brown robe- "A jedi robe," you say, "One that the entire order wears to signify its-" WRONG.

At this point, all we've seen of the Jedi order is Obi. It's an easy assumption to make that that's just how Jedi dress. But take a closer look. Uncle Owen is dressed in a similar fashion; does it not therefore not seem plausible, if not probable, that Obi's just dressing like the lower class working locals, in order to fit in? Like someone who's trained as a jedi general, assasin and all round SAS style baddass would be prone to do?

Look at it this way. Your a highly trained military personnel serving in Iraq, when BOOM; your entire force is wiped out, except for you
and some dyslexic little midget dude who has obvious learning difficulties.

What do you do?

A) Don the local inhabitants clothing, in order to avoid detection from enemy forces.

B) Go back in time and team up with the dyslexic midget to take out the two real threats posed to your command unit one at a time rather than splitting up and trying to take them individually because in retrospect that plan was fucking retarded

C) Walk around near your last real hope dressed in your standard issue, obviously recognisable military uniform?

Congratulations, if you chose A/B then you are smarter than Obi Wan / Yoda / George Lucas... and all of the above combined.

And I'd assumed this was Lucas's original intent, in the original trilogy. It's not like Luke mastered the force, donned a bath robe and went out to kick ass and take names. No, he sported attire suitable to each situation.

People try and make the argument that in Return, Luke was walking dangerously close to the dark side, and that's why he was dressed all in black, an outfit closer to Maul than Yoda, as a reminder that he could possibly be the next vader.

I agree; the symbology was there for a reason. The problem is that symbology has been taken, perverted, and re-defined as a one size fits all jedi outift which is only there because that's what people EXPECT to see.

And that's what's wrong with post return star wars cannon. By trying to give people what he thinks they want, Lucas has lost what it was that made his creation special; a unique, gritty and imaginative universe that redfined peoples perceptions.

Not one that catered to them.

For realsies

Ok people. I understand I am coming to a point in my life where the people I went to school with are all in successful relationships and have started to breed. After cursing them for the achievements they have reached in life I decided to do something to help them. And by do something, I actually mean I found this video and am sharing it with them to help them raise their pod-lings.

When is it a good time to talk to your young about Star Wars? Sit back. Listen. And heed the advice.

Cheers!

Another Paid Service Anouncement

Greetings again Galactic Citizens,

A new season is upon us and many of you like to tackle the outdoors. Please keep this in mind for YOUR campsite safety.





































Paid for by the Galactic Alliance.

A Paid Service Anouncement

Greeting Galactic Citizens,
Sorry to interrupt your hyperspace transmission but the Galactic Alliance has an announcement on blaster safety.






































Paid for by the Ackbar Blaster Safety Council. (please disregard Emperial logo)

The Daily Wars (03/23/11)

Greetings follower(s)!
As of today, I will be trying to fine a few examples of Star Wars greatness and post them for you to see.

Here is a rather nice one for today
Cheers!

Stimpack

Greetings follower(s) today I write to you about something truly amazing. Star Wars RPG. “What is Star Wars RPG?” you might ask. Well, think of dungeon and dragons, now substitute the dungeons and the dragons for stormtroopers and hyperspace. So D&D set to a Star Wars theme. I am far to lazy to explain all the in’s, out’s and everything in between of how it all works but pretty much, make a character, roll a 20 sided die and have fun.

With a galaxy of well over 4 trillion beings there are times when you play a character who doesn’t do much to stand out. Not in this case. Today I write about my current character Carthos aka Stimpack.

Carthos is a Selkath who was born and raised on the ocean world of Manaan. He attended the medical university and became a doctor of note for creating the Carthos Technique, an operation involving the replacement on the exoskeleton of a native species to Manaan. Carthos was eventually forced out of the university and the planet altogether for using questionable medical practices (operation without the use of anesthetic). Carthos took off in search of beings who would understand his reasons and found himself working with a Mandolorian raiding party in the outer rims. He had become a skilled battlefield medic, able to perform surgery on the field in record time on multiple soldiers, it is during this time he acquired the nickname “Stimpack” (wounded soldiers would be screaming for a stimpack and Carthos would rush to their aid). For his efforts Stimpack was given a custom suit of Beskar armor (Beskar is madolorian iron that is virtually indestructible) which made him a walking trauma center and welcomed into the Mandorlian family.

After years of war, medicine and seeing just how xenophobic the majority of the galaxy could be, Carthos left the Mandolorians to help the galaxy and to build a hospital free of government influences and xenophobic views of the galaxy. It was during this journey that Carthos caught the interest of the Jedi Order who were working with the Yuuzhan Vong to reverse the effects they caused the galaxy over 100 years ago. The last known sighting of Carthos was at a medical gala to announce the plans to Vongform planets.

What a Wookiee

This is good to know for when to draw the line.

Use the ebrake!

The dark side is upon us! Look at what it did to one of the most powerful dark side users of our time...

Jedi Chicks make my day

Greetings to the people I think will actually read this. The month of February is almost at and end and I can’t help but notice that we gave respects to love and togetherness and all that touchy feely crap. But with all the pink around, we didn’t give our respects to the women out there. I would like to take the moment to give praise to all the Star Wars ladies out there. To the females of the Rebel Alliance and the good gals keeping those moffs in line over in the Empire. Let us not forget the honeys running smuggler rings and the beauties wielding lightsabers. This February is the month to salute those women. Without them to need rescuing from Death Stars, us guys would have nothing to do but play sabacc. So here’s to you, my ladies of hyperspace, keep on making the galaxy a better place to live in.

Ladies of note:
Pink 5: One of the coolest, make way girl of Rogue Squadron. Her exploits can be found here


Gold Leader(Brae): Author of some rocking blogs (Talk Star Wars to me in particular) and constant battle command/tactical advise giver to me when it came to the ladies. Gold Leader, you rock and a tip of the rogue squadron hat to you.















Princess Leia: You know her, you love her, she is the feisty little kid from Alderaan. Takes no bantha poodoo from anybody and isn’t afraid to take you down a peg or choke a bitch (or a Hutt). Plus she looks amazing in metal ware. Props Leia.















Winter: Don’t know her? That means she is probably doing her job. Winter is the white haired minx who can get through security and take what she needs. It also helps that she has a perfect memory and cruised around with Leia growing up. Keep it up Winter.
More to come when the redwookiee strikes back.

Under 12 Parsecs!

One day while talking with my dad about careers he asked me what I like. The truth is, I like Star Wars, I like Star Wars a lot. Since I know I can’t make money from that, I might as well have some fun. So throughout the rest of my life, or until I get bored, I will be trying to prove to everybody that Star Wars can relate to everything. Seriously, search your feelings, you know it to be true.

And to get this out of the way now, here are some other Star Wars blogs that are amazing. The fact I know the writer has nothing to do with it. Seriously though, they kick ass.

Talk Star Wars to Me: talkstarwarstome.blogspot.com
Bake Star Wars for Me: http://bakestarwarsforme.blogspot.com